LA LA LA

It's been a really really messed up week.

Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter.

Nora's got the hand, foot, mouth disease.

She's usually sweet but this week I want to quit her.

LA LA LA, oh well, LA LA LA, it doesn't matter.

In all seriousness though this has probably been close to one of the worse weeks of my life. Nora started out with a fever on Monday which I attributed to teething because she was getting another molar. But the next morning I noticed a pretty large sore on her tongue, and it's been nothing but tears and tantrums since then.

I wouldn't pray this on my worst enemy. My sweet girl is so miserable. She cries for 5-6 hours out of the day. It's gotten to the point where I just sit down with her and cry too. One morning I started bawling, and she stopped crying, looked at me, then started screaming Mommy, Mom, Mama. As if to say, "Don't cry Mommy." It was heartbreaking.

She won't eat or drink much of anything because it hurts her too bad. It gets you worried about dehydration and the sweet girl sure doesn't have the weight to lose, that's for sure. It's been emotionally and physically exhausting. I've been frustrated because I haven't been able to get anything done. After I put her to bed one night I took my August issue of Ensign into a bubble bath to relax for a bit. The first presidency message could not have come at a better time. President Monson says,

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.

Just rewriting this brings tears to my eyes. Nora wants comfort but gets so upset that she starts hitting me and throwing all out tantrums. In a huff of pure frustration I put her down and leave the room to try and get something done. She's my sweet child, she's in pain and she's upset and yet I find it more important to get those dishes done or that laundry folded rather than sticking by her side and letting her know I'm there for her.

The Love at Home message is such a great reminder of how I should be treating my family members. I'm so grateful for the gospel. That Nora will be able to grow up in a loving home, something that seems to be lacking more and more these days. I pray that this sickness can leave our home soon so that I might be able to play with my happy girl again.

I was sitting with her on the couch the other day and I started singing I Am A Child of God to her. She completely surprised me and started singing the song with me almost word for word. It was such a special moment in a week of mostly frustration and tears. She is a beautiful special child of God and I'm thankful for her, even if she's slapping and screaming at me.

new favorite snack

Watermelon Feta Basil Salad

Mmmmm such a delicious refreshing snack for the summer.

I could eat a whole watermelon in one sitting and used to do so often when I was a kid. I wasn't sure about the combination in this recipe but thought I'd give it a try. The sweetness of the watermelon, the saltiness of the feta, and the basil, mmm the basil just makes it taste so fresh and summery. Pure bliss. Ate it yesterday, ate it today, and will probably eat it at least 100 more times before watermelons go out of season.

*Picture via http://www.justanothermomday.blogspot.com/

stronger

Do you ever look at your pictures and think, "Nobody is going to care about the parade we went to or the fireworks we saw." "Nobody's going to care that we had a friend over for play time." And so the vicious cycle begins. Never blogging, never journaling, constantly getting asked when I'm going to update. I'm tired of feeling the guilt. I want to blog because it makes me feel good, because maybe someday I'll actually print it out into a book for my children to read.

I resolve to only blog when I feel like it.

Some of my favorites from the 4th of July.

I forgot my camera the morning of the 4th. I was super ticked I didn't get proof of my 5k run. I ran in this same race when I was pregnant with Nora. Actually I shouldn't even say I ran it because I walked it and almost died. I think it was the only day of my entire pregnancy that I got sick. I kid you not when I say that I came into second to last place. OF EVERYONE. It was pathetic.

But this year, this year I've been training. This year I've become a runner. Something I never thought I would do. And I came in at 31:45. I know it's not the super greatest time. But I was proud. Really, really proud. I ran the whole time except for 5 seconds of it.

I always wondered how anyone could enjoy running. I would always say, "I can't run, I have asthma." When honestly I think I was just so out of shape. I probably have a tinge of asthma but it's nothing that I haven't been able to slowly work up to and start gaining a resistence toward it.

Now I crave it. I think about the next time I might be able to go running again. To feel my feet on the pavement, erase my thoughts, listen to some good tunes. It makes me feel strong. And I can't wait to run my next race. Can't wait to see if I can get a better time.

And so my obsession begins.

Nora loved the fireworks. She loved playing with cousins and friends. She has the best cousins on both sides of our families. Sweet girls that love to play with Nora and cute Logan that tries to wrestle her. I love my nieces, and nephew.

Holidays make me love having a kid even more. You get to enjoy everything as if you were a kid again. It makes me excited for Fall and the holidays. I'm not rushing summer though......that's for sure.