Bear

We hope everyone had a BEARY Merry Christmas!

I'm happy.

I'm so exhausted it's ridiculous.

I constantly have a headache and stomachache from lack of sleep. But as I sat at Darin's family Christmas party I couldn't help but think of how happy I am.

Before I had the baby I thought that December was going to be so nice because I was going to have all this extra time to really enjoy the holiday season and do all those Christmasy things to get me in the mood. Honestly, I thought a lot of things that didn't end up quite how I expected them to, before I had the baby.

Needless to say, I haven't really felt the holiday spirit as much as I was hoping. But Darins family Christmas party really changed that for me. It's the kind of Christmas party you see on the movies. The things I always wish my family did as a little kid growing up.

I was there with my sweet (and handsome, I might add) husband and darling baby girl, surrounded by family that love and support us.

We watched the kids sing songs (Once There Was a Snowman).

We watched them put on the nativity scene, little people style.

Mollee was our little Wiseman.

We play our Christmas bells, although it never sounds too pretty.

And we sing Christmas carols to the piano. Noone is embarrassed or shy. Everyone sings out in their full voices. And maybe everyones voices aren't the greatest (especially mine), but altogether, it's beautiful.

And then we get a Christmas message from Darins 91 year old Grandpa, who by the way, exclaimed that he IS going to make it to 100. I don't doubt it either.

He gave each family member a flashlight and talked about Christ's birth and how he is the light of the world. And when we are in different times of darkness we can "turn on our flashlights" to find the way.

There are no gifts to unwrap at this party, and that's almost the best part. This family doesn't need to give presents to show their love. You can feel it, just being in the house. I'm lucky to have Grandma and Grandpa Graham in my life. From the first time I met them they welcomed me with open arms and have been hugging me ever since. Thank you for bringing the Christmas spirit into my heart this year!

A few more...

Couldn't resist posting the third round of newborn pics I took. Enjoy!

Ok, I guess it wasn't a few, but I couldn't resist. She's just so beautiful.

Will I.....

Will I ever get anything accomplished again? Nora has been in our home for two weeks. It has been the longest and the shortest two weeks of my life. Apparently it hasn't been too easy on her either.

The last two weeks there has been a lot of crying going on at our house, and let's just say Nora hasn't been the only one shedding tears. It's so hard when your baby is crying from 7-10 at night and you're not sure what to do to help them. Luckily I think I've figured it out. While trying to remember everything you have to do for a baby, it slipped my mind that you are supposed to burp them. We knew that her tummy was hurting at night, but I had no idea it was because of me. Now that I've started burping her better, she seems to be a little happier.

You hear people say having a baby is hard, but you honestly have no idea how hard it is until you're doing it yourself. I'm lucky if I can get in the shower before 1 o' clock each day. I guess if I got out of bed before 11 it might be easier, but after getting up every 2 hours for at least half an hour at a time, it's kind of tough peeling myself out of the warm sheets. Especially when I'm cuddling with her.

I look forward to the day when I have a routine, and am able to get a little more accomplished. And at the same time I don't want that time to come. I want my little girl to stay tiny forever.

Because even though I'm exhausted, my boobs hurt, and I feel like a zombie, there is still nothing better than having her wrap her tiny hand around my finger.

Or to feel her soft skin, or see her eyes take new things in every day.

I know life will be normal again one day, and then I'll look back and miss these times, probably because by then you've forgotten how hard it was.

One thing I don't have to worry about is getting back to my pre pregnancy weight. I'm only 4 pounds away. My body isn't the same as it was before but at least I'm not worrying about getting the extra weight off. All I have to worry about is taking care of her.

I hope I haven't scared anyone pregnant or trying to get pregnant. I mean, I'm sure I haven't said anything that everyone doesn't already know. As long as you're aware that you're going to be exhausted, and that you're going to get peed and pooped on numerous times a day, then you should be alright.

It's rewarding. To know, at the end of the day that you're keeping this little person alive, is so rewarding. We couldn't have asked for a better Christmas gift this year.