Our worst fears were confirmed. We went for a meeting yesterday afternoon (i can't believe it was just yesterday, it feels like a week ago) with my grandpa's doctor and they diagnosed him with Acute Leukemia. They told us that with the chemotherapy treatments that he would have a 50% chance of living if he could make it through the treatments. If he didn't do the chemo then he would die in a few days. So they started him on the chemo right away and transferred him to LDS hospital. We were finally able to get in touch with my dad (he lives in Alaska) and I delivered the bad news. I'd have to say that was probably the #1 hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Tell my own father that his dad has cancer and may not live long so he better hurry and get here or he might not have a chance to say goodbye. And then listen to him cry and tell him how sorry I am.
I was there till about 9:30 and left to go home. At 1:30am my uncle called and said he had taken a turn for the worse and the doctors didn't think he was going to make it through the night, so we rushed there. He had bled into his brain and lungs and was fighting the nurses on the oxygen. They finally got him to settle down and he went stable. We were able to go home and he's been in a stable condition all day. Right now they are trying to make sure the bleeding doesn't get worse, and to get his blood cell counts up. But it is so so hard. It just really is so amazing how fragile life is. He was fine a week ago but this type of cancer just moves so rapidly. And even though I've told him so many times how much I love him, I hope I can just have one more chance (or a hundred) to really give him a great big hug and kiss and let him know how much he means to me. He's hanging in there though. He's overcome a 13% chance of living in the past. We've got better odds this time around. But make sure you tell that someone how much they mean to you because things can change so quickly.
I know this is so much information but it feels good to type it out ferociously.
3 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandpa, it's never easy to see someone you love suffering. From your previous post (the suspenders :), he seems like such a cute little guy. I hope all goes well for him.
Man, Jess...I am really so sorry. I just started crying when I read about your grandpa. It is so so so hard when someone you love so much is suffering. I can't imagine having to tell your own father either. Please let me know if you need to chat or need a shoulder to cry on. Love you girl.
Jess, I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't cut it. You are seriously in my thoughts and for sure my prayers. I love you.
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