Sunday, July 24, 2011


It's been a really really messed up week.
Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter.
Nora's got the hand, foot, mouth disease.
She's usually sweet but this week I want to quit her.

LA LA LA, oh well, LA LA LA, it doesn't matter.

In all seriousness though this has probably been close to one of the worse weeks of my life. Nora started out with a fever on Monday which I attributed to teething because she was getting another molar. But the next morning I noticed a pretty large sore on her tongue, and it's been nothing but tears and tantrums since then.

I wouldn't pray this on my worst enemy. My sweet girl is so miserable. She cries for 5-6 hours out of the day. It's gotten to the point where I just sit down with her and cry too. One morning I started bawling, and she stopped crying, looked at me, then started screaming Mommy, Mom, Mama. As if to say, "Don't cry Mommy." It was heartbreaking.

She won't eat or drink much of anything because it hurts her too bad. It gets you worried about dehydration and the sweet girl sure doesn't have the weight to lose, that's for sure. It's been emotionally and physically exhausting. I've been frustrated because I haven't been able to get anything done. After I put her to bed one night I took my August issue of Ensign into a bubble bath to relax for a bit. The first presidency message could not have come at a better time. President Monson says,

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.

Just rewriting this brings tears to my eyes. Nora wants comfort but gets so upset that she starts hitting me and throwing all out tantrums. In a huff of pure frustration I put her down and leave the room to try and get something done. She's my sweet child, she's in pain and she's upset and yet I find it more important to get those dishes done or that laundry folded rather than sticking by her side and letting her know I'm there for her.

The Love at Home message is such a great reminder of how I should be treating my family members. I'm so grateful for the gospel. That Nora will be able to grow up in a loving home, something that seems to be lacking more and more these days. I pray that this sickness can leave our home soon so that I might be able to play with my happy girl again.

I was sitting with her on the couch the other day and I started singing I Am A Child of God to her. She completely surprised me and started singing the song with me almost word for word. It was such a special moment in a week of mostly frustration and tears. She is a beautiful special child of God and I'm thankful for her, even if she's slapping and screaming at me.


Alesha said...

Oh Jess!!! I told you it is the absolute worst!! I am so sorry cute little Nora had it! BOO on HFM!

Heidi said...

So sorry to hear of your frustrations :( I sure do hope things start cheering up soon. You can always count on the Ensign to bring encouragement. I love you! Please call if I can do anything to help you! -xxoo-

Cindy said...

You are SUCH a good Mommy! Don't ever forget that, Nora is so lucky that your hers. We've all been there in those frustrating moments. Mommy guilt is some of the worst. Hope all is better this week! :)

Anonymous said...

maybe you should ask your husband to get off his lazy butt to help...

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you posted that about your husband!! He's so wonderful and I think you should rock his world as a reward for being so wonderful.

Jonathan and Kiri said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this, Jess but I just LOVED the message you shared. How sweet of you to be such a good mommy to Nora and recognize that she needs your love! She's sure lucky to have you :) I hope she's feeling much better and I hope you're doing a LOT better too!