Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Am I the Only One?

So I suffered a mild anxiety attack last night in bed. I was laying there around 11:00 , I had just finished reading the third book in Twilight, Eclipse. You know the one where Bella kisses Jacob outside the tent and pictures their 2 black haired children running around in La Push? And then says goodbye to him because she's accepted Edwards proposal and doesn't want to hurt him anymore? Ya, you know which one I'm talking about. I know it's a little sick that I'm already through the 3rd book for the second time. It's an addiction, and I'm slightly ashamed to admit it. So anyway, I was laying there feeling really sad for Jacob, because, in all honesty I like him almost as much as I like Edward. And I was feeling my heart rate accelerate (not because of all the steamy kissing scenes in the books) but because my mind started to drift to work.
Work that is so busy right now it makes me want to cry even thinking about it. That's how the mortgage industry goes. One minute you're sitting on your butt wondering how you can manage to look at one more blog because you've been surfing them for the majority of your work day, to the next minute where you have 8 files sitting on top of your desk, all needing your undivided attention, 700 christmas cards sitting in boxes at your feet needing to be sorted out to the loan officers, and around 300 that you have to personally address yourself for the bosses.
I also got to thinking about how I need to drive my Grandma to Southern Utah to visit with her 92 year old mother in the nursing home, which normally I wouldn't mind, but there's just so much needing to be done this time of the year.
I also had a dentist appointment this morning that I was dreading. I never knew a cleaning could be so painful. I really need to start flossing more regularly.....
So as you can see my mind was running a hundred miles a minute, and even though I was trying to do my yoga breathing excercises it still wasn't calming me down. So I laid there for a solid 20 minutes listening to my heart beat in my ears, feeling myself get sweaty, and gaining a massive headache from clenching my teeth too hard. I wish I could say I was able to drift into a dreamless sleep, but no, I dreamt of Twilight for the second night in a row. Man, I have issues. I need to finish reading these so I can move on to something more productive in my life, and so my husband doesn't divorce me for lack of attention.
Thanksgiving was great. I didn't take a single picture except for the amazing cake I made, and since I can't find my camera I won't even be able to show you those. But it was a hit, I promise. We ate 12:00 dinner at my Aunts house and 2:00 dinner at Darin's aunts house. I swear it should be outlawed to eat more than one Thanksgiving dinner within a 4 hour period.....But the time we got to spend with our families was great. Thinking about it reminds me a lot of Four Christmases (if you haven't seen it yet, you should, it's funny) but that's how our families are. Our families are so different, and it's so wonderful to have a nice mix. Hopefully things will cool down for me here soon so I can spend a little time on my blog. Otherwise I might be ringing in the new year with my Thanksgiving background still attached.


Janeen said...

Jess, poor Jess...lol I am so understanding it's crazy. You may not beleive that, but we have a lot of the same worries. (maybe we have different careers) ;) I have had some of the worst anxiety attacks, I have been scared for my life. Things always get better, remember that. Love you, fellow twilight dreamer you.

Philip and Melissa said...

Hi Jessie! Thank you so much for your kind comment on the blog! What a beautiful couple you are!!!!