How is it that even though I only work half as much as I used to (9-1 instead of 9-5) that it seems like I have even less time to get things done? I know the answer....it's because I cause work for myself to do. I don't mean to, I just hate being idle.
I also think it's because I still feel guilty being at home while Darin is at work all day, even though more than half my time is spent cleaning the house and doing laundry. I'm lucky to have a husband that loves me enough to see that being home more makes me a happier person and a better wife (and future mommy).
So yes, I asked the question and then just went ahead and answered it myself. I just had to put it out there, because I know if I feel like there's not enough time for things now I'm sure it only gets 500 times worse when a kid enters the picture.
SOOOO...... I've completely been putting off writing this story. But I need to, for my records, because I don't want to forget a single story or face or comment about how this all came about. So go ahead and buckle your seat belts, because we're in for a long, descriptive and probably TMI ride.
First week of March 2009
I head to my gynecologist office for an annual checkup and to get a recommendation for a new type of birth control pill. I haven't been taking the pill for the last two years because I really hated the way it made me feel during our first year of marriage. Normally I get the standard question of "You haven't been using contraceptives the last two years of your marriage?!?!" No, my friends, we'd just resorted to the good old love gloves.
But every month my period would roll around and I would be reminded of why the pill was so wonderful. It prevented me from writhing on the shower floor in so much pain I thought my life was going to end, and after two years of it I decided to head to the doctor and try a new kind of pill to help out with it. I figured I'd get a years prescription and then we could think about trying for a baby around the spring or summer of the next year.
So I walk out of the doctors office with my shiny new prescription and headed to fill it at the pharmacy. Of course, OF COURSE, it's one of the most expensive birth controls and I spend $50 dollars on my new pack of Loestrin 24. YIPEE.
So I waited for my next period to start (I had my last around the 15th of February) and then I waited some more and then I waited a little longer. I wasn't too concerned. I have longer cycles than most, around 35 days. But soon enough it was March 31 and I was more than a couple weeks late. So on my way home from work I stopped at Wal Mart and bought an Equate test. I went home, did the whole pee on the stick thing, and waited for the minus sign to show up. But it didn't. About 3 seconds after I took it the positive sign showed up on the screen. So I sat there staring at it forever, and then I somehow rationalized in my head that there was no POSSIBLE way that I could be pregnant. I mean we were pretty faithful in our use of ahem, protection. I mead he'd never.....well anyway. I decided that since it was an equate test that it was low quality and wasn't reliable. Did I mention that Darin was in Canada on business until the following night? Oh, well he was.
The next morning I woke up and took my last test "just to be sure". I don't know how I still doubted it at this point. We pondered how I was going to break the news to Darin. That day was April Fools and I kind of figured he wouldn't believe me no matter what I did, so I went with something simple. We cleared the kitchen counter of everything except my 3 positive tests, and I waited nervously for him to come home around 11:30 that night.
Oh my dear, sweet, completely oblivious husband. He walks in, sets his stuff on the counter RIGHT NEXT TO THE TESTS, and proceeds to tell us a story about the airplane. We listen and laugh at all the right parts and laugh because he's been standing next to them for two minutes without taking notice. He walks over sits down on the couch next to me and finally says "What?" because my mom and I are snickering and my mom keeps mouthing "Do you want me to tell him?" Finally my mom says "Darin, I think there's something on the counter for you." He walks over, looks at them, and says "I guess that explains why you're so late." He doesn't show his emotions well. He comes over, gives me a big hug as I cry and blubber all over him and we tell him the adventures of the last two days.
So that's it. There are other stories I want to tell about our families and how we told them, but I'll save them for another time when you haven't fallen asleep reading.
It's still hard to believe it's in there. I'm finishing up my first trimester and I haven't thrown up yet. I've been so lucky. Just tired and so hungry. We heard the little heartbeat for the first time on Tuesday and all I could say was "Wow, I guess it's really in there." It's amazing how Heavenly Father has a plan for us and he follows it even if we don't think we're ready for it. I was ready to go back on birth control and we were thinking of a baby in a couple years, but now I can just picture Heavenly Father up there sayin, "Oh no you don't."
We're excited, and we're grateful that everything has gone well so far. And if you've made it all the way to the end here, I praise you. Good job.
